Building Trust
What to do when it feels like you’re Seeing it all alone?
Maybe you’ve tried it all and, at this point, just accepted the way things are. You feel tired. It feels harder than it should. But when you ask your team what needs to change, they just say:
“Things are pretty good.”
You wonder if that’s the truth of it. Every once in a while, someone suggests an easy change. Sometimes, you are reassured that everything is fine. And on occasion, they share a great idea that is just a little out of reach.
Maybe your stress is just a product of everything else. If no one says anything, why worry? We go on with our normal day to day, because:
nobody wants to create problems that aren’t there.
Then, almost as soon as you’re done asking, you feel the tension. Tasks that should be easy seem to take too much effort. Projects don’t ever get fully completed. And some of your team carries more weight than others.
WHAT YOU’RE SEEING IS REAL. IT’S HARD TO NAME, But YOU’RE NOT ALONE.
Repose Group is based on the assumption that people have good intentions. What gets in the way is that, when answers aren’t easy, it can feel easier to turn the other way.
When you ask your team what’s actually going on and don’t feel like you’re getting any traction, ask a follow-up. Then keep listening with curiosity. We find that people start responding pretty quickly. Next time, try this quick tool:
Ask one more question
Keep going. Pick up the thread by asking them a question about what they last said.If they say, “Things are fine,” ask them, “What does fine mean to you?”
Stay curious
It’s hard to stay open-minded. If you feel yourself wanting to correct, defend, or rush to solve it, lean back into curiosity.Keep listening
Sometimes the first answer names the immediate problem. The next one may help you understand what keeps creating it.Just Ask. The answer may surprise you.
Trust is built when we feel heard and understood. Curiosity can help get us there. And, when it does, we can begin to see what is underneath the problem and how, as a team, we can move forward together.
Learn more:
Amy Edmondson’s work on psychological safety helps explain why people may stay quiet even when something feels off.
Edgar Schein called this Humble Inquiry, asking with genuine curiosity instead of leading with the answer.
The Center for Creative Leadership also has a practical guide to listening for more than the first answer.
Just Ask, or use these references with your teams and clients, during facilitation, or during conflict resolution.
Repose Group believes in collaboration as a guiding principle. Let’s talk, see where to start, and find out how we can rebuild trust.